No one deserves to suffer this.
Incidentally: here is a really good argument for home schooling. A conventional school is an institutionalized environment. This brings out the worst in some kids (like the tormentors above). Today especially these places have turned into minimum security prisons. There are many different ways to learn outside of a classroom. Parents and kids should take note and act accordingly.

Dear William Rivers Pitt,

Thank you for taking the time to share this deeply moving personal account of bullying, as well as how you were able to thwart it as a teacher.

I know you continue to have those scars, but you have taken positive proactive measures to effect change in your personal dealings with the world as an adult. And in an even larger sense, you inspire us all with your wonderfully insightful articles.

Excellent article. I agree with the comment above regarding homeschooling. I have taught within the school system, and I have also facilitated classes for homeschoolers. There is a very big difference between the two, I am sorry to say. In general, the homeschoolers were more mature, had better manners, were much kinder and more respectful to each other, more enthused about learning, and more willing to share their ideas with each other without fear of ridicule. They also were much better at interacting with adults than their institutionally- educated counterparts. Homeschooling parents often hear from others about the dangers of inadequate "socialization", but I have found that by and large it is the homeschooled students that excel at positive and appropriate social interaction.

Thank you so much for this intelligent article. I think a copy should be sent to every administrator in every school in this country. We cannot afford to be blind to this immense problem anymore. One thing that disturbs me most is the acceptance of the bullying by their victims. My daughter told me years after she graduated from high school, that in middle school the girls were shoved up against the lockers and rubbed against and grabbed by the boys. She told me that the girls just thought this was the way it was. This was in a good school in a university town. I am almost glad she didn't tell me sooner. I wouldn't have stopped at reporting it to the teacher or the principal. Those boys would have known the fear that the girls suffered. It still makes me angry.

People are capable of amazing cruelty
I was bullied for a time also after my family moved to a new town and I was the new kid. I had been in accelerated learning programs in my old school district but because I was transferring mid-year and couldn't take the required tests until the following year I was placed in the normal classrooms for a few months. Being a bit ahead of the class, a bit small for my age, and suddenly becoming nearsighted was enough to mark me as the kid to beat on.

One thing that I learned is that once you're the kid to pick on it doesn't matter what you do. The bullies will keep picking on you whether you cry or not, whether you run or not, whether you tell on them or not. The only thing that seemed to work was to pick on someone else instead and get the others to transfer their violence to the new victim, but I'm proud to say that I never did that or became a bully myself in some other context.

I never have understood why people will be so willfully cruel to others. How can anyone not know that acting this way is terribly wrong? I have a son now, and I think that I would know how to be supportive to him if he were ever bullied, but if he became a bully himself I don't know how I would handle it.

Have you ever read the Comments in the Washington Post - especially after an article that is of a political nature? A prime example of the bullying tactics that can be "safely" carried out in the anonymity of one's home in front of the faceless computer! I wonder if these people were bullies in school? It really is appalling!

Yes, one of WRP's best pieces (of many).

Bullying scars both the bully and the victim and is another unpleasant facet of our society, which is why it needs to change.

should waited until night and taken a base ball bat to the tormentors.

A very moving article that took great courage to write. I commend you, sir. What I really missed, however, was what you didn't say about how you were able to change behaviors and patterns. What pressures did you use, and how/when? What conversations did you have...what did you say? And what did you say to the parents?

I ask because I think it's very important to share what you know. While I doubt you'll see systemic improvement any time soon, you can still empower engaged teachers to create change within their own sphere. Every teacher is a step in the right direction.

Again, excellent and courageous article.

Lane Baldwin - lanebaldwin.com

Thank you for writing about this. It's almost painful to read--much less live. Please tell us: what did you do that was effective in transforming the in-group, out-group culture of the HS students?

Tremendous. And to equate this in the national psyche t0 Dick Cheney is exactly right. As Dr. Christine Northrup points out in her book Women's Bodies Women's Wisdom leaning on violence to establish dominance is an addictive pattern; a cycle of violence. Once again William Rivers Pitt has established a political clarity at the source of national dysfunction. Bravo. “Everyone's values are defined by what they will tolerate when it is done to others. ” ~William Greider, American Journalist and author of The Soul of Capitalism: Opening Paths to a Moral Economy

WOW! At what point do parents stop talking to the principals, teachers and school boards before having bullies arrested? When did teachers become afraid of the students? Question: How much bullying was going in when school/corporal punishment was allowed and prayer started off the school day or when parents were allowed visit schools (unannounced) and observe their children's behavior?

Thank you, thank you, thank you for your story. It brought back the bully I endured in school - fingers stuck in my ears, clods of dirt thrown at me on the way home and then the abuse as an abused wife. But thank you the most for saying that even though you are stronger (as I am now) that is was not good it happened. That we are stronger does not excuse the bebehavior of the abusers in any way. My former husband had the gall one day to say to me "I did you a favor, you are better off now than you were before I left you." I was flummoxed - my children and I still bear the emotional scars thrity years later. Thank you for sharing your story.

An advantage of home schooling might be that it protects a child from bullies, but one of the great disadvantages is also that it protects a child from bullies and prevents her from learning to deal with society. My child had to deal with kids like that in her large urban high school, but she learned well and is now a well-balanced and assertive young lady who is becoming a teacher. Her education did not suffer for being a product of public schools; she earned a B.A. with a 3.76 gpa, and an MA with a 4,0.

I too was bullied. Not as severely but enough to leave emotional scars. One of the ways I processed the trauma was to write educational films for young kids, such as WHAT TADOO in which some of my experience is reenacted. It was a very emotional day on location when those scenes were shot. About two dozen films I've written for kids reside at empowerkids.com.

CONNECT the dots what do get when a whole government is a bully.The whole planet is being bullied violated raped by a world dictatorship ruthless corporatism economic-religious fundamentalism assault & trauma outright military shock & awe. its in the culture the same culture of boys ramsfield cheeny bush kessinger hoover & the rests

from the little boy who butchered the hand with the pen to the coward generals and leaders who juggles with 40000 nuclear missiles and tortured senselessly Siddiqui.

Soulidarity

Ah, William, thank you for this one. It helps to explain the uncommon decency I have observed over the last three or four years of reading your columns. I think you would have been a good man without the abuse. However, I think that, with it, you became a man more aware, more understanding, more empathetic ...

Stay strong and keep up the good work.

Thanks again. RJP.

Ah, William, thank you for this one. It helps to explain the uncommon decency I have observed over the last three or four years of reading your columns. I think you would have been a good man without the abuse. However, I think that, with it, you became a man more aware, more understanding, more empathetic ...

Stay strong and keep up the good work.

Thanks again. RJP.

The best article yet by one of my favourite writers - well done WRP. What you write about is a global phenomenon that must be dragged into the bright light of day, something you have done brilliantly in this article. I concur that you must share your teaching experience in an expanded article or a book even.

And yes, so many of the corporate leaders and politicans are from precisely the same mould as the bullies, not just Cheney; it's an almost universal reality. After all, one has to be a psychopath to fire hundreds simply to make more money, to destroy lives for profit, to trash the environment for greed.....

A transforming stigmata.

william: if you haven't already you should read the Highly Sensitive Child and The Highly Sensitive Person by Elaine Aron. And let me know which page you start crying your eyes out.
After you read these books you will be able to expand on this theme and make the case that the reason we no longer have statesmen, but rather bullying politicians, is because our society does not value the sensitives like asian cultures do. our young statesmen are having their leadership and other wonderful abilities bullied out of them.
I also was bullied, molested and raped as a child. in fact I was so used to being bullied that even into my 50's i came to realize that i had selected friends who i allowed to verbally bully me.
i found the books MOST HEALING.
thank you for sharing, thank you for caring.... and i look forward to your next installment.

Very touching... I was fortunate that bullying of a serious nature was fairly uncommon where I grew up, I was always an "outsider" but rarely bullied.
I also am convinced that it is our child rearing practices that are the cause, the uber-pursuit of "obedience" that stifles the development of self and creates people that require something to be obedient to once they reach "adulthood", all too often with emotional or physical brutality.
Blaming the issue on schools is a cop-out generally, the behavior is learned at home, but apparently when a teacher and/or a school takes an interest in addressing the issue the behavior can be modified and one would hope the schools take this up with a "vengeance".
As another anecdote regarding the results when someone is bullied, and the monster that they may become, look at what was behind the Fort Hood incident. Despite all the MSM stories trying to tie the shooter to Islam, it was the bullying that caused it, much as it was in Columbine. Like school, the military is a place you can't just walk away from to escape behavior like this.
Thank you, Mr. Pitt!

Wow. THIS guy is going to be a classic writer if he gets half a chance and takes it.

He is dead on. I'm amazed more Columbine's don't happen.

It would be fascinating to me, a victim of much bullying as well to see a survey of where across the world bullying is worse or less. Even just figuring out how to measure that would be fascinating.

It's plain to me after watching the "Health Care Reform" debates and screaming Useful Idiots yelling "Government out of my Medicare" followed by the decision of Just-us Roberts that this is an increasingly SICK CULTURE.

I think of escape more and more every day. I'm actively wondering what would it be like to live in a civilization (defined as a country with universal health care).

I know "the grass is always greener" and wasn't A ClockWork Orange set in England?

So a survey would be most fascinating ...

Brave words. My brilliant daughter dropped out of high school at 15 because of being bullied by the jocks for being punk. The jocks had the encouragement of a teacher/coach and the denial and avoidance of the other teachers. Some of the jocks may have been 'nice kids' and not run-of-the-mill bullies, but given the correct circumstances, it's Lord of the Flies.
Home schooling may solve the problem for a family, but it won't solve the problem of public schools and could leave the bullies there with fewer victims bearing more of the brunt.Parents who must both work don't have the option of home schooling. The problem needs institutional solutions. Bullying is evil. Faculty ignoring it is worse. Please write that book. Wm. Rivers Pitt for Education Secretary.

This is a brilliant piece of observation and experience. Growing up in the 1940s and 50s, I was bullied and humiliated too. What I didn't understand then was that I was a budding gay person, and somehow this was picked up by the bully boys and the queen-bee girls in a society that (at that time) condemned gay people to worse-than-communist status. I too dreamed of revenge. I became a classically trained actor and conservatory teacher, and somehow the bullies have faded away except from my memory. I use the bullies every day in my work in front of the camera and on the stage. I hope they're recognizing themselves as the truly ugly people they were. That has been my revenge, and it has been most satisfying to me.

This is about Cheney and condescending, sadistic paternalism; what came after, and before.

Yeesh; the obsession with children and childhood, Objectified, in this country is pathetic.

Thinking of Cheney reminded me that Adolf Hitler, the Austrian called German, was bullied and abused by his father every day of his early life. And look what it did to him and our world. It behooves each and every one of us to interfere and try to resolve the issues of bullying. It does take a village to raise a child.

I'm addressing the comment by Ravenna (not verified)

I agree with her wish that the author would write a manual on how to transform kids.

On the other hand, her secret belief, "that children who are bullied have been bullied at home; have not been allowed to be "winners" within the family. The scent of that is picked up by the wolves at school" sounds more like a wish to distance herself from the issue - and how outrageous it seems to me to blame the parents of the victims!

My daughter was the victim of verbal bullying in 3rd grade. When I complained in writing to her teacher that I couldn't understand why a student would be "benched" for hurting a child physically but not for hurting a child with words, the teacher consulted with the (wonderful, brilliant) principal, who started an "Authors' Club" with my daughter as a charter member and had periodic exclusive lunch meetings with the members of that club. Problem disappeared: my daughter went from scapegoat to celebrity seamlessly.

Sometimes misbehavior is elicited by a system or a culture. The competition that is fostered at school and that is held up as an ideal in our society can be a negative force. We forget that it was not competition that was responsible early on for the success of the United States - it was COOPERATION.

Competition will be our downfall. The Marshall Plan brought us friends; what has The War on Terror brought us?

I cannot imagine going to school everyday to be educated and be faced with the realities described in Mr Pitt's essay and those in some of the comments. I went to a small girl's school in the '50s where we felt safe and had to work hard to stay up with our classes. As I read his article and the comments from others, I felt a great sadness and the tears flowed for those who have experienced this and for a country where there is so much violence - in the schools, on the streets and driving this on, the gratuitous violence of the entertainment world.

To Vic Anderson, who said, "Where, indeed, be parents?

In many cases this may be true, but it is also true that sometimes parents are ignored, or criticized for complaining.

In many groups, there is a (mis)perception that there is an elite. Members of the elite do not have to play by the same rules, and can take advantage with impunity.

You need look no further than Wall Street - the bailouts and the bonuses!

@ Mon, 02/08/2010 - 22:51 — David;

There is no desire to personalize this, nor anything for that matter, in the remark you're complaining about; taking anonymous' remark as ridicule is just a bit touchy.

What you did as a teacher, Will, is exactly what was practiced as SOP by my teachers at my school when I was growing up. Like so many of us, I was an incipient victim, but it was nipped in the bud by some well-trained and prepared teachers and a school administration that supported them. (My parents also happened to be well equipped to help me, for which I'm also grateful.) I'm so sorry for what you went through, but appreciate what you and so many others are doing by recognizing this pattern of abuse. As to its cause: Pathological androcentric and elitist hierarchy and a culture that values the violence of war. Or, to put it more prosaicly, sh*t rolls downhill. How else to explain powerless adults finding other powerless adults and/or powerless children to abuse (Catholic priests being notable because of the denial-based hierarchy in which they function), those trauma victims turning that abuse into abuse of more children and animals, powerless civilians being deliberatly targeted in war (Nisoor Square, anyone?), or the children of Holocaust victims building their very own concentration camps? Trauma victims usually go one of three ways, denial, abuse, or advocacy. Too many fall into the first two traps, too few like you in turn to the latter because it's not valued in a war-centric society. As to why we're targeted, my guess is those of us raised to show respect and compassion seem like the easiest targets. But then again, sometimes it's just random horror, because we live amongst so much random horror. Kindest regards.

Amazing writing, Will. So moving. But not manipulative. That's a gift, my friend.

What you did as a teacher, Will, is exactly what was practiced as SOP by my teachers at my school when I was growing up. Like so many of us, I was an incipient victim, but it was nipped in the bud by some well-trained and prepared teachers and a school administration that supported them. (My parents also happened to be well equipped to help me, for which I'm also grateful.) I'm so sorry for what you went through, but appreciate what you and so many others are doing by recognizing this pattern of abuse. As to its cause: Pathological androcentric and elitist hierarchy and a culture that values the violence of war. Or, to put it more prosaicly, sh*t rolls downhill. How else to explain powerless adults finding other powerless adults and/or powerless children to abuse (Catholic priests being notable because of the denial-based hierarchy in which they function), those trauma victims turning that abuse into abuse of more children and animals, powerless civilians being deliberatly targeted in war (Nisoor Square, anyone?), or the children of Holocaust victims building their very own concentration camps? Trauma victims usually go one of three ways, denial, abuse, or advocacy. Too many fall into the first two traps, too few like you in turn to the latter because it's not valued in a war-centric society. As to why we're targeted, my guess is those of us raised to show respect and compassion seem like the easiest targets. But then again, sometimes it's just random horror, because we live amongst so much random horror. And in response to Ravenna, please do not compare human behavior to that of other animals. Wolves, for example, demonstrate care for their offspring, their pack, and even show what we might call respect to their rivals. No creature is perfect, but anthropomorphizing bad human behavior is just more denial, distancing, and projection, and contributes to the mindset that sets off the behavior in the first place. BookwormBev's response is also well-taken.

Great article and great comments. The only thing I can add is that Journalism like this is our guide to real solutions. Knowledge is king. Action and corrections only follow.

Wonderful piece on the literal and metaphorical level. One person commented that those who are bullied at school are often bullied at home. As a psychotherapist, I would add that those who bully at school are also often bullied at home. It's a phenomenon in psychology called identification with the aggressor. Sadists learn to be sadists, which means that someone is teaching cruelty, whether they are aware of it or not. Thanks for your honesty and courage. Glad you made it out!

I am amazed that the first reaction of some is to attack the public school system. At you pointed out, it also happened to you in as private school, and it was finally in a public school that you found release. The wing-nuts will grasp at straws to bring down the only institution that has some chance of "lifting all boats."
I really admire you for having the courage to "open your soul" to us in the way you did. I always enjoy your articles, but this may well be to very best that you have written. If it grabs enough people, the way it grabbed me, it may bring more change than anything has ever done.

It was the manifestation of America's collective insanity in the various school shootings that got me involved with the Big Brothers & Big Sisters of America, mentoring children. We can change this country for the better, first by changing ourselves and then by helping those around us; even if change occurs one child at a time, ultimately it makes a difference. In time this nation can be less of a bully and a better neighbor. Our government is a reflection of our collective self.

A terrific memoir, William Rivers Pitt, says an American woman of 70 who's lived in Australia for almost 44 years following her marriage to an Aussie.
I've just read Real Boys, which applies and doesn't apply to Australia. The culture is hugely different. But bullying has been much in the news here over the past year or so. I've not heard stories as bad as yours, but that doesn't mean they haven't occurred. These days in Sydney and elsewhere there are female Managers who are as bullying as males. Some of them, clearly, were bullied themselves as kids.

I went to a Catholic High School. In my sophomore year a bully was placed behind me for the school term. Whenever the nun would turn to the blackboard he would whump me so hard on my back that it reverberated throughout the classroom. Everyone would laugh and the nun would turn around to shush the class. After a week of this I realized that if I didn't do something there would be no end in sight. Then one day it came...WHUMP...and I exploded with a fast turnaround backhander that drove my assailant violently into the desk of the student behind him. The class, in complete amazement, left out a loud whimper of surprise. That nun turned around and told the class to be quiet now, and that somebody had finally received what they deserved. After class this bully's promised retribution never materialized. Waiting for him instead of fearing him waiting for me as he wanted me to, I dropped my books in the hall as he came out of class and challenged him in front of his peers. He laughed nervously and warned me that I was never to do that again. I told him that it would work both ways. At that point I would have fought him to the death. Still, maybe he was testing me, seeing how much I could take, or whether his friends would come to his rescue. Thankfully none did, and whatever happened to his mindset saved me from ever having to confront him again after that day. I still resent that nun for not doing anything. I guess it could have been worse. She could have punished me for standing up for myself. So even in a private so-called Christian school one is not safe from bullying.

As a teacher, I can tell you that any adult in the school who ISN'T aware of bullying--who does it, to whom, and where--is either lying or unfit to be in the classroom. Several years ago, a friend asked me (as an educator) to provide information about the people who were threatening the life of his 13 year-old daughter. I had picked up the phone in his home when I heard the daughter's half of the conversation and was able to confirm to the principal that the girl had been threatened. The principal told me (an adult with over 20 years of teaching experience and a Ph.D) that it was my word against the 16 year-old female bully. She said the school couldn't do anything.

The next day, the parent enrolled the daughter in a private school at considerable expense. The difference was not public school vs. private; it was a bad principal vs. a great one.

I was also a target of bullies for most of my school years--huge boys who broke my teeth, bloodied my nose, set fire to a bathroom I was in, and one who beat me and kicked me unconscious when I tried to stand up to him. I also carried a knife and acted a bit crazy, which made me feel a little better at least. As a teacher I always make myself available to the targets of bullying. I have promised my students that if they ever feel unsafe, they could come find me and I will stay with them until they are safe again.

Somehow all that bullying turned me into a radical left winger, feminist, anti-racist, GLBT civil rights activist. As a white male, it's nice to know I'm not alone--sometimes it feels like there's nobody else around to speak out.

But I'm not perfect either. I have from time to time remained silent when I should have spoken, or even bullied a bully I had power over myself.

Bullying DOES permeate our society, and it always has. We deceive ourselves if we think otherwise.

This story,..in all its pain and degrading torture is something I can all to well appreciate and relate too.

The physical abuse, the beatings the being strangled by fellow students all under the eyes of faculty attest to the complete lack of humanity within schools.

I do so wish that for this student and others - there was a way to hold responsible teachers and adults who where aware of this behavior be held accountable.

Punishment - to the staff specific - and not the school as a whole is how this has to be approached. To destroy an entire school hurts everyone - but if we tried we could seriously halt many cases of abuse by fellow students that destroy lives today, tomorrow and crush the spirits of our young adults.

Did I survive? So, to speak-yes. I am 40 years old but when this happens at the watch of those who are to protect makes me furious.

wow. absolutely wonderful, unpredictably thoughful, haunting, yet uplifting article... thank you so much Mr. Pitt. You've made me count my blessings once again. I've never been in a fight, or the the victim of any aggression that became physical in my now early adulthood, or in school. I was lucky. The worst that ever happened to me was some name calling because I like to read, and didn't give damn about sports, so a few kids called me "fag" alot. pure ignorance......but they were just words. this article was so very humbling.

Please, please write an article sharing that wonderful accomplishment of yours, transforming the "ins" and the "outs"! Please. For everyone.

I experienced brutal bullying in junior high and some of high school. My bullying ranged from physical beatings at the hands of the boys, to emasculating insults from the mouths of the girls.

I cried a lot in those years, I just wanted to be left alone.

During the time I was being bullied I kept expecting for the authority figures to stop it but salvation never came. I put up with this brutality until my sophomore year. By that time I finally understood the life lesson: I was going to have to deal with my own problems -- alone and with violence.

Over the next couple of months I brought the bullying to an end with violence or the threat of violence. The turnaround was quick -- word got around and my bullies(and potential bullies) decided to find weaker quarry.

I had escaped my torment but I never became a bully myself. Unfortunately I did not escape without some psychological damage . Years after graduating, I heard about one of my bullies from the past. He was strung out on drugs and hearing voices in his head. Reaching the end of his rope, he put a shotgun in his mouth and blew his brains out. I felt a tinge of pity for him but mostly I felt elated. I would never have to deal with him again.

I'm a staunch liberal today -- I'm even against the death penalty. However I still experience joy when an evil person dies. Sometimes death is the only cure for a psychopath.

My sons grew up in a community where bullying was common. It started in elementary school. My oldest was constantly late walking to school trying to evade the group of boys who targeted him. The guidance counselor insisted that he had to defend himself. After two years, a new principal put a stop to the attacks within a week. There were sexual assaults using weapons on both my boys. A group from the middle school football team used a flying wedge to attack my son. He had to quite going to the library. One son couldn't finish high school for all the violence. With a brother who was severely developmentally disabled, my sons were harassed being called "retard" even though they were both gifted. I knew of girls in the high school who couldn't finish their educations because of the sexual harassment and frequent groping. One must wonder how many of our working class young people have had their future opportunities ruined.

Haven't had time to read 100% of these comments, but did want to say that bullying in the workplace is not physical abuse but is extremely damaging, as well. Suicides, loss of good jobs (my own situation) as a way of escaping bullying, and all manner of physical ailments result from workplace bullying.

Researchers who have studied bullying (or "mobbing" if it's done by groups of people) have found that workplace bullying is worst in the professions of healthcare and education. "Go figure!" Why do you think this is so?

Great article, WRP. Beautiful and from the heart. I can see where you get your passion for social justice. All of us are the richer for it.

There is a way to stop bullying by the way. For those who want to make it happen in their schools or for their children, check out this article by a man who has devoted his life to stopping bullying:

http://www.cary-memorial.lib.me.us/bullyweb/networker.htm

The standard advice given to victims of bullying is to tell an adult. I think this article and the comments on it plainly show how much good that does. The adults who care are powerless to stop the bullying, and those who have the power don't care. Children are also warned that they should never strike back against a bully, as this will only escalate the conflict. Bullshit. The ONLY effective way to deal with a bully is to hit back, and hit harder.

I've also wondered from time to time what in Cheney's childhood led him to such become an advocate of torture as an adult.

Thanks for telling it like "it was". Bullies seem to get an instant "high" from their behavior. Along with the "thugs"who use their hands and feet there are verbal bullies who use "their words" and their smirks to belittle the awkward. Sometimes these bullies are the parents of the children they ridicule. As the child of a "witty" man I grew up with the barbs of jokes making me thinner skinned and "too sensitive". Your story put my experience in perspective.
Perhaps a heart that bleeds in childhood becomes a source of compassion for others but sometimes it becomes a source of a need to dominate others and grab the bullies "high". Lemons of all kinds can make lemonade. Thanks again for the reminder. Sue Lynch

Many fine responses have posted to this beautiful revelation by Mr. Pitt. There is a common thread among liberals and that is the possession of empathy for other people and other things. Mr. Pitt is a fully developed human being who thinks rationally, morally and uses the finest of his human emotions to support his arguments, when I read him I am listening to a dozen members of my own distinguished family. Like the "art gene" everyone has either a little or a lot and those that only have a little need all the more time to develop it for effective use. Some have a lot, and those are the ones we trust most to do the public business. As is well pointed out too often we get a Cheney like person with unresolved hostility toward the world and its people who are incapable of enlightened policy because it is not organic to them or developed in them by their parents. My fondest regards to Mr. Pitt for his sincere and cerebral contribution to public discourse and I wish him to know that there are still millions of Americans that share his visions and values. He is not alone.

@Skip Mendler, I understand those of us with martial arts training believe it to be a remedy for many personal and societal ills, but I would have to disagree. After watching a girl with judo training brutalize her little brother, I'm just not sure the answer to teach the weaker to be strong, rather than teaching the brutal what compassion is.

Will, I click on your articles every time. This one took me completely by surprise.
Moving and enraging at the same time. And so deeply personal too.
I cant help but add, as others have, it seems that the national character of America has for long time, been that of a bully, at home, and in the world. And no-one seems to care much. You keep electing bullies, year after year. Clearly, many, if not most of your school authorities, Principals and teachers, don't give a damn about the suicidal kids. Clearly, the parents of the bullies don't either. It wouldn't surprise me to find that many of them probably praise and encourage the monsters they have bred. After all, your Presidents are "tough guys", your heroes are all "tough guys". And the real heroes, like Martin Luther King, were accused of Communism by the bullying authority of no less than the domestic law enforcers of the FBI.
Thanks again, Will, for a great, courageous piece, and for always being there to reveal the truth.

What you describe is sickening and wrenching and awful. It makes me despair at being on the same planet with such cruelty. But, as a long time reader of your eloquent, passionate, progressive, honest writing, I also feel hope that healing is possible and that sometimes something luminous emerges from the darkness.

Thank you for speaking out. Your courage and eloquence light the way.

A great article but I am surprised that neither he nor anyone else has mentioned "Teach Tolerance" a program promoted by the Southern Poverty Law Center which publishes a quarterly magazine by that name.There are also other organizations that put on excellent anti- bullying programs.
When I was president of Anacortes Community Health Council we supplied funds to a school counselor to hire such a program. I observed what was put on for the High School. Skilled actors demonstrated bullying by boys and by girls and appropriate reaction to it. It was well received by the students.

Dr. Christofersen (02/09/2010 @ 17:31), the Teach Tolerance program of the Southern Poverty Law Center is one of that group's "good works." However, one should examine carefully the allocation of this organization's received charitable contributions, compared to other similar charities, and its methods and criteria for designating as "Hate Groups" organizations that come to incur that appellation. I suspect there is a significant bias toward so naming other organizations, for what reasons aside from increasing contributions I leave to the judgment of others.

How very brave of you to share your very personal pain. May God continue to hold you in the palm of His hand.

I did not read any of the above comments, so what I have to relate, may have already been mentioned. I may not have all the details. This was done at a middle school. All of the students were asked to submit an anonymous poll. The questions were: have you been bullied? Name the perpetrator/s. This gave the school administration a list of students on whom to concentrate for intervention. Through counseling and involvement with parents of bullies, the school was able to provide a more safe student environment.

Dear William Pitt,
You've written much over the years that has garnered my interest yet none that has touched me as deeply as this.
The courage you evidence by bringing this to the light, on my opinion, is what is needed to move things in a different direction.

I especially love the story of your work in the schools and how you were able to bring these divergent elements together.

For me these efforts that contribute toward a more humane populous are what have value. Thank you for all you give.

Anand Arupo, Portland, OR

I, too, have a scar. A pencil lead, that has been embedded in my hand for thirty years. I, too, was the subject of violent disdain at the hands of my school cohort. I, too, fantasized of meeting fire with a deluge.

I finally made it back to school, in my mid-thirties, to fulfill a life-long academic dream.

The indifference displayed to our children as we are cuckold to the omnipotent PROFIT MARGIN will be our downfall.

Thanks for this.

This was very Heart quenchig, im in middle school im but 12 years old and my teacher read ony 3 paragraphs of this and began to cry, she told us to read it, so today i read it and, its very sad, and that i can see so many bullies at our school read this and care, and so man who say thats horrible but so many of them also keep doing it, I HATE it!!!

thanks for sharing this i think it would be vary hard and i to have had something like this last year in 6th grad i was harrased and bullyed to i was being made fun of and evry one called me a fag a hermaferdight and said that I liked to suck dick for a living I did not think it was right i still wish I could do something about it and when I went to school right as i got off the bus I got pushed to the ground and punched in the fase so many times i have scars from it to i think that the techers did not care just like you they just cep looking past it and not caring how badly I i get hurt or how badly i hate the person so thank you.

That is a very very very powerful story. It shows that bullying isn't something that goes away after awhile, it stays with you the rest of your life. You get constantly reminded of the days you got bullied, who did it, and how much it hurt. Every day you wonder why me? Did I do something to you. In my own experience I heard that a certain person was a bully in my school, she was known for being mean to people. Since I didn't know her, I didn't believe that she was mean, so I decided to be nice to her, she wasn't my best friend but she wasn't my enemy either. I actually thought we were staring to become friends. Big mistake, she would come over to my desk and make these biting comments like "No one likes you", "Your so annoying", I wouldn't hear this but my best friends would, "I just want to punch that girl, she needs to get slapped" . I talked to my mom when it first started and decided to go to the counselor. I talked with her(the counselor) and she eventually got her consequences and she left me alone it was all a good ending for me, she even apologized by herself. What I feel bad about is how my story which isn't as bad as many others got resolved yet Williams' story just got looked at and all the teachers turned away like nothing is happening. Bullying isn't something that is there one day and gone the next, its there for the rest of your life.

Thank you for posting this. I really think that bullying is a problem everywhere. I hope that people will learn from this and use it as an example. I hope tat those people who have done wrong will figure out that it is not right to bully and that they could have been one of the many people in a school who has been bullied.

That was a very moving article. I know exactly what it feels like to be bullied. At my middle school there are so many people who bully others for the fun of it. I on the other hand have tried to support those who are on the receiving end and the giving end. I think that underneath there is a better person. People can be hurt in there lives and I think that we all need help.

Jeebus, Willbur...you just wrote the story of my life too. I ended up with major clinical depression.

Hope you are well, bubba.

thank you for sharing your story. My child is just starting to be bullied and I do not feel like I am getting a whole lot of help. My worst fear would be for them to go through what you have. Thanks for making me realize that I am not just being "over protective" because I am worried/concerned and that I have he right to put a stop to this right now.

I'm sitting here with a tear running down my face reading your story about those tormented boys that thought they needed to torment you and others.

Thank you for sharing your story. It needed to be told. My teenager told me the first time there was a school shooting that it happened 'because Mom those boys were probably bullied at school'. He would know, he was at those schools everyday and he also told me 'Mom, you don't know what these kids are like!'. He was right, I don't know and can't wrap my baby boomer mind around it.

What I want to say to you is that you can forget it, or you can make it where it's such a distant memory that it has no effect on you, yes even when you look at the scar on your hand. I know, I've done it myself for years. It's called accupressure, it helps you get rid of the emotions associated with negative experiences in life. The wonderful Stanford engineer that discovered this technique and put the website up recently retired it. Website is emofree.com.

If it's gone you can you tube tapping, accupressure, and see. You tap with two fingers on the side of your hand while saying what's bothered you...

God Bless you and God Speed healing yourself, because you can...It works.

And as for those schools, the best thing that can happen is for us to go to internet based schooling in the home or in a larger area. Our schools are failing us and our children because we've had and continue to have such a massive breakdown in the moral fiber of our countrymen.

How often I wonder what happened to the "Grammar School" boy who had to keep a smile on his face to earn the respect and admiration of his classmates: he had been savagely beaten by the "best" teacher in the little hamlet where I was brought up—she beat him so hard that the yardstick cracked open across his back.

Why are some primates better than many humans?

We become beasts by EATING beasts.

Has the separation of church & state really benefitted this country?

WRP,
Glad you made it through to the other side.
We need your ilk.
Keeping speaking up for those who have no voice.
Imagine if this country had, say, a third grade Compassion class. Not valued in this culture, is it?

And 4:23, the poster who keeps posting and going on about the piece being about Cheney, you might want to have a look at your own bullying tendencies. Stop invalidating others' experiences. Maybe it's not 'the world according to you,' in the end.

Some points:

First, "Violence is as American as cherry pie." Violent sports, violent films, violent television programs, violent video games, violence as part of U.S. foreign policy, "collateral damage", torture - all of these are generally acceptable in the U.S. If they weren't, they would at least be toned down.

Second, there is no such thing as "the American school system". There are as many school systems in the U.S. as there are school districts, private schools, and home schools. As a child, I attended four different public grammar schools in one state in communities just a few miles apart, and all four were quite different from one another, and so were the ways in which they dealt with bullying - or didn't deal with it.

Then there is the competitiveness of American society, the ideal of "the rugged individual", and the culture of self-concern and "Devil take the hindmost". It is not surprising that bullying begins early in childhood and continues in one form or another all through American life.

There are some societies where the fundamental ethic is "we are all in this together", and then there are the less developed societies in which the basic idea is to "look out for number one". Bullying of children by children is something that can happen in any society, but some societies make a point of stopping it as soon as it shows itself because it is understood as being damaging to the society.

I don't expect it to happen, but teaching prospective teachers and school administrators about bullying and how to stop it - and there are some good examples to be found in the preceding comments - would be a good start.